In select literature, anyway.

If the title got you livid with fury and positively panting with anger, ready to volley back a stream of insults ranging from hokkien (chao cheebye!) all the way to French (Merde!), well, it certainly served its function and gotten your attention, hadn't it?

Take A Thousand and One Arabian Nights. The emperor/king/potentate/(insert whatever glorious mandate of heaven title here) was apparently cheated on by his first wife, so now he decides to marry a new virgin girl every day, and send her to be beheaded the next day.

I wonder how their population fared, with such a king. No doubt it must be an aging population like Singapore, and the equation: emperor marries vigin girls + chastity the most important thing in a girl + men without wives = no wives to marry cos emperor beheads them = no sex = no procreation of children = population rate goes down.

Well, it's supposed to be a story, but I'll go on anyhoo because it pleases me to do so. Shut up about Mr Darcy, he was a right old asshole from the start, I don't care if his intentions are pure. Go to your crappy rom-com movies and stop whining, romantics.

So anyway, where was I? Ah yes, declining population rate. Mr emperor has killed three thousand women by the time he was introduced to the heroine, Scheherazade. (Damn, her name is hard to spell).

Against her father's protestations, Scheherazade volunteered to spend one night with the King. Once in the King's chambers, Scheherazade asked if she might bid one last farewell to her beloved sister, Dinazade, who had secretly been prepared to ask Scheherazade to tell a story during the long night. The King lay awake and listened with awe as Scheherazade told her first story. The night whiled away, and Scheherazade stopped in the middle of the story. The King asked her to finish, but Scheherazade said there was not time, as dawn was breaking. So, the King spared her life for one day to finish the story the next night.

The above paragraph was copied from Wikipedia because my palms are sweating from gosh knows what and I didn't feel like typing, aside from bitching. Okay, so Scheherazade continues this pattern for a thousand and one nights, whereupon her stories run out and guess what? The king spares her life.

No, I'm not incredulous about this. I am merely incredulous about...

Did I mention that the dear olde king fell in love with her and she had borne him THREE sons?

This is impossible in itself, based on logic. Let's do the Math:

1001 / (365 1/4) = 2.7405 years


He spends two years listening to her, and BAM! He decides he's in love with her, although previously he has not demonstrated the same patience with other girls, being the lustful arse he is?

Three sons, right?

Gestation period: 9 months.

9*3 = 27 months
Total number of months he's known her for: 2.7405 * 12 = 32.88706 months.
Assuming he has sex with her immediately after she gives birth, 32.88706 - 27 = 5.8870 months.
So he lounges about for 5 months, hurt and abused just to listen to her stories at night? Previously he took VIRGIN girls (hmm I wonder what for, why not behead them immediately? Perhaps to take advantage of the wedding night?) and beheaded them the next day, and assuming he's a loose, lustful arse who gets it on with a girl for 3000 nights (8.21 years! Enough to form a permanent habit!) he drops everything for her during the five months when he is deprived of what he is used to?

The stories better be hellaluva interesting.

Supposedly he listens to a thousand and one stories, one each night. What about the days Scheherazade has to give birth? I doubt surgery or numbing medicine was available those days. And during the act? A more realistic depiction, instead of him eagerly listening to the stories like an attention-starved boy would be "Damn it, woman! I'm trying to have sex here and all you do is jabber on! Shut up about the damn stories for once!"

Either he's an insensitive prick, or has terrible technique;or she has excellent control. Not to squirm or scream or moan (well, there has to be a reason why people have sex right? Because it probably feels good. Just like how people take drugs. Because it feels good) and continuing her story in a well-measured voice.

I supposed after giving birth one would be tired as hell. She still has the energy to continue the story? Wow. Zhen pei fu.

My point is, the stories are unrealistic. There.

Yes. The title has no relation at all to the topic at hand. Boo hoo for those who are looking for an argument.