I go onto my email account, asking people to help me criticize my works on deviantart, and from a bunch of potentially smart people I could have gotten, I got the ignoramus of the bunch.

I told them I was 13, and that I needed someone to help me read my works and tell me where my faults lie. But apparently these insipid nincompoops take it the wrong way.

Allow me to present the two elevated, monumental, preeminent answers. (God, I love the thesuarus.)

1) Hopefully, at age 14, your work will be judged with like age people. I did not and will not read your work on deviant art as there are images there that I do not agree should be on a site for people under age sixteen. I only read requests from blog sites from people aged eighteen and over. But, keep on writing and entering. A relative who is eleven is having work forwarded by a teacher. It won at the state level and now goes to a national contest. Ask a teacher about your poem.

I DID ASK A TEACHER, BASTARD!

Heck, the teacher approached me.

"images there I do not agree"..yeah right. It's called NUDE ART for a reason. Just because you, the illiberal and perverted of the nation cannot appreciate the simplicity and beauty of thje human body, then SHUT UP, as there are others who do. I don't know how to appreciate nide art, but I RESPECT the opinions of theose who do.

"I only read requests of those who are aged 18 and above". Do I sense a hint of contempt there? Well, my pompous, prejudiced person from the fairer sex, I think that age does not matter, does it? After all, if a person in his twenties can be one of America's biggest entrepreneur, I don't see how a 60-year old antediluvian hag would consider herself superior to him just because she'd lived longer. (=

Hmm. Gotta work on ym vocabulary, but I digress.

Obviously the above is criticism dressed with kind words and facticious encouragement.

Let's move on to the second.

2) chat.deviantart.com/chat/help or do the bast art that you have not done....

Ooh my, how I'd LOVE to slap him there and then and give him a short grammar lesson....

What the hell is 'bast'?

And I want people to LOOK at my work and give me comments, not just visit my page and exiting it.

Well, f*** you, since you aren't serious about your work.

Once upon a time, there had been a selfish little girl who thought of nothing but her personal games. This girl was lonely, and often coated herself in ice walls and shields.

Then, another girl came alon. Her name was Yi. Though it began with a conflict, everything had been resolved and the two of them became best friends.

Time ago, they made a vow. "Three years down the road, we shall meet together at this very same spot. " With that, both set off different ways, with a seperate goal to conquer.

The selfish girl had her heart tamed, but she couldn't help sneaking peeks back to then. She had moved on, made a new start, and had new friends, But she was still reminiscent of the days.

Yi had moved on into a rollercoaster ride. She discovered good friends and pride, as well as confidence and eloquence. Occasionally, she looked at the spot, but she was otherwise absorbed in her new life. A different person had emrged--it was indeed a butterfly emerging from a cocoon.

The selfish girl was jealous at first, but slowly she learnt to let go. Though she had friends, she felt that none of them were close enough, or knew her well enough. Her trips back home were spent 'lone, wandering and reflecting on the bitter irony of life.

Three years passed. The selfish girl, now confident and domineering as ever, set off to the meeting place with high hopes. It was then coated with dust. Sweeping some of it away, she sat down on the bench and waited, a hopeful smile drawn onto her lips.

A minute passed.
Half an hour went.
One hour went.

The clock ticked, its tired voice dragging itself wearily across the silence. Every second seemed like a never-ending marathon, running and running yet somehow unable to find the exit.

A phone vibrated, sending off showers of stone and ash. After a muffled conversation, an audible sign was heard, and the selfish girl looked up to see the real skies--nothing but a vacant vacuum.

She knew. Yi had moved on, and was not on the point of return anytime soon. All that would remain would be hopes as the cords binding them together will slowly fray due to time and distance.

The selfish girl got up, notbothering to pat the dust off, and continued on her lonesome journey, past the spot, past her successes, and into the future. There was nothing to be seen, except for a distant light down north.

Time ago we made a vow
Three years then, it's now
Forgotten as you ran on
I waited, futile, it's too long

I can't wait anymore.
I'm sorry, but I have to move on.

-------------------------------

People won't read my blog anyway.

Litreature is fascinating. The author injects a little of herself in there, and hopes for it to be discovered. Only the ones who know you well will uncover the hidden codes, while the bystanders will see only a mess of words.

May have some relation to my life. I don't know. I can't open up fully to others, especially if I'm not uncomfortable with them.

Off topic. But people are confusing. People don't apply to logic. People defy all laws.

That's why I'm a realist.

That pagan holiday refers to none other than Valentine's day.

You doubt so? Here's my source: http://thegrouchyscotsman.yuku.com/topic/1307

Apparently it was to celebrate the joining of Woman and Goat God (disgusting.)

Love? Roses? Those are nothing but mere chemical reactions, a temporary delusion in our minds. It is certainly fascinating to watch how it can control the mind of a human.

The next one to say that *I* like someone (in the romantic sense) will be carted off to Scotland (Do they have goats there? I suck at Geography) where they can go and mate with the goats, since they ALL seem intent on celebrating this holiday.

And no, I'm not in denial. I calculated the statistics and estimated that my love level is 0%, and now my pissed off level is raging high at 97.8%. As well as the depressed emotional in me wanting to kick all those tests beyond the troposphere.

So you'd better stop your caterwauling or you will be shut up effectively by me digging your vocal cords and crushing them, nolens volens.

Damn, where is my eloquence when I need it?

War

Faceted weapons and broken stings
Survivors offer tales to sing
Of wives embroiled in despair
Men fleeing with light care

Helmets strewn amidst ground’s crack
Souls devoured by hatred’s fair
The sky crying, rain in tears
Blood in wine, succulent fears

Skulls lining carpets beneath feet
Wounds once healed do bleed
Ashes rise within spirals of dead
Secrets upon slack mouths left unsaid.

Horses and men thundering
Arrows and swords dancing
Red and silver indistinguishable
Bloodlust lets Mars’ cloak unfurl

Stones of the city, ruins of past
Prosperity not meant to last
As sand buries another page
Of history and blind rage

------------------------

Not very good, wrote it on the spur of the moment.

Ludricuous. Puerile.

I was 'tsking' my way through the 'teach english' attempt by the Taiwanese media.

"The shop is very special, just like you." （这家店很特别，就像你一样。）What has the word 'shop' has to do with complimenting a friend? If you want to compliment someone, just say 'You are very special to me.' It's not 'the', it's 'this'. And they are learning the careless sentences which I hd thrown aboutwhen I was in kindergarden.

"你心情不好吗？愿意找人聊聊吗？" Was what the signboard said (in Chinese). It was promptly translated to " Feel bad? Wanna talk to someone?"

Who are you, yankees?(No offence to yankees whatsoever, some of them are great writers.)
You can't summarize the whole sentence to a succinct 'feel bad', rather, the sentence should be "Are you feeling down? Would you like to talk to someone?"


The video is here.


---

*snort* This is a good one. They misspelt 'hot chick' as 'hot chic'.

天渊之别的哦！

What's the difference between 'flirt' and 'pick someone up'? It's not even an atonym on the other; in fact, to 'pick someone up', you need to 'flit' with them! Tsk tsk, so inaccuarate.

There's really no contradiction between 'dandy' and 'party girl'. In fact, there is no relation whatsoever. A party girl could imply that a girl is popular or goes to plenty of parties, but it does not say whether she is nicely attired or attractive. 'dandy' is used to describe a person's attire. It usually means that the person dresses well. 'dunce' is related to intellectual level, and has nothing to do with superficial things. Unless what they're trying to say is 'dude', but according to the english dictionary, it is:
1.
a man excessively concerned with his clothes, grooming, and manners.
2.
Slang. fellow; chap.
3.
a person reared in a large city.
4.
Western U.S. an urban Easterner who vacations on a ranch. —Verb phrase
5.
dude up, Informal. to dress in one's fanciest, best, or most stylish clothes; dress up: He got all duded up to go to the dance.

That goes to show how WONDEFUL those celebrities' English are.

"Dress in a glamorous style, Show is much more attractive." Note that there has been no attampt to correct the statement. Punctuation seems to be a fleeting glamour here, and phrases are 'Show is not attractive'. What they're trying to say that the dress is glamorous, and that this sentence shows that it is attractive.

Geez, they can't even write in proper sentences.

There's better ones. 'Dress in a glamorous style, Show is much more attractive than hunks who at the party because of his great dancing.'

WTH? What are you trying to say? Are you trying to say that at a party, the ladies, a visage in their glamourous dresses are much more attractive than hunks who are great at dancing?

It doesn't even make sense. 'because' is severely abused as a conjunction. I am sure everyone knows that it is a conjuction for reason. Besides, hinks are supposed to be handsome guys. Unless the girls are butt-ugly in their glamourous dresses...




PEOPLE! IF YOU WANT A GOOD EXAMPLE OF BAD WRITING, WATCH THIS VIDEO! THIS IS THE EPITOME OF BAD ENGLISH!!!

Looks like the previous comments they made on national TV just bit them back in their derriere.

Announcements

Firstly, I would like to thank Wei Qi, Hui Ting and Sheila for waiting patiently while I bought that bubble tea (fine, ice blend) and forgoing so many buses that came their way! THANKS GUYS!

And many apologies to those whom I’ve been a little short on today (like poor Xin Zi during History, I gave her my death glare and threatened to kill her if she read out a point that didn’t relate to our argument. Po Yang also heard it and asked me to relax, but I can’t relax for some weird reasons…sorry Xinzi! Hui Ting too who tolerated my bad temper in the morning and endless sarcasm. Hee.

Um, class comm., sorry I couldn’t go for the meeting, Zi Han dragged me off to the grand Audi (Technically, not really, but he asked me to go so I assumed it was compulsory for IT Club members and went…) and got the ostentatious task of sorting out good mandarin oranges from the rotten ones and giving them to the teachers. Yay. Brenice should know, I did invite her to assist me, but unfortunately she declined such a fantastic offer. Sigh.

(Sadly, we didn’t get paid. That sucked. But we got Mr Lim, last year’s physics teacher. He mentioned something about eating mandarin oranges to the point of diarrhea. I swear I have opened up enough of those bloody bags and touched enough oranges to last me for a lifetime. Though it is my favourite fruit, I don’t think I will be touching it for months.)

On the bright side, we get dismissed at 9:45 tomorrow. Oleh! I can go home to play neopian stocks..

Speaking of stocks, I need to monitor mine. I invested quite heavily. Hope it won’t fall.

To whom it concerns:

Your talk is much more humongous than your walk, and at the rate things are going, you'd better not stop too soon or your teeth will fly through your cranium.

And no, I am not being funny, say that again and I will pump your lungs full of carbon monoxide and let you become a living joke...in hell.

Me? Rude? Nani desu ka?! Watashi?! Tch. Puh-lease. If I'm rude I won't even entertain your call. I would just flip you off and tell you to do something indescribable (which will not be elaborated upon in case you, gentle reader, are an uncorrupted adolescent).

First, it was a meager three times. How do you expect me to do all of that homework? If it is manageable, I would have done it with ease. But apparently you have been asking favors to increase my workload since you are so against the arts I'm picking up.

'Mathematics needs practice. Every question is different.' Of course it is, airhead. The numbers and language is different. But in concept, it is the same. Don't you dare try to fool me, because I have studied enough literature works to know that sonnets, even if the content is different, they are the same as they all use the iambic parameter (or whatever meter they use, not sure.)

I am not blind, nor am I deaf. I know you are very displeased that things aren't going your way. Newsflash, Puerile Being. I am not 3 anymore and will not blindly follow orders like some lost sheep. I know I have rights. If you want to shape people your way, get a Barbie doll or something. Because I will remember every single wrong and the retribution will be a thousand times of the wrongs.

Thrice. You have broken promises to shreds more than that. Since you dismiss my explanations as excuses, then I shall dismiss yours for garbage. After all, they are nothing but empty words. Can I assume that you are a heinous witch because of that? Or an anorexic drunkard?

Whatever. Suit yourself. You are simply not worth the typos I make in my anger.
-------------------------------
On a side note:
DAMN YOU, KEYBOARD!