The fucken asshole!

Okay wait

I shall not be angry at mentors/teachers/people in general.
I shall not be angry at mentors/teachers/people in general.
I shall not be angry at mentors/teachers/people in general.

Maybe if I say it enough times the mantra would prove true and I will be as calm as a bird on a tree branch with no cats in sight.

*fumes*

Not working.

I suppose the earlier Chinese tuition had exacerbated my foul mood from being woken up at the ungodly hour of 8 (after sleeping at around 3 - 3:30 am due to MOTHERFUCKING INSOMNIA). Roar! I hate, despise, absolutely loathe Chinese, and I've made no secrets about that.

In fact, my (rather morbid and wry) mind had carolled: "A car accident under my Christmas tree~" Stop backing away from me. Would it help if I insist on my innocence that it does not apply to any tutors?

Screw Chinese. Screw stupid descriptive passages in Chinese. Screw stupid after-reading questions that ask you to identify weird terms in Chinese, screw personification and metaphors in Chinese. Screw Chinese! I hate the stupid chengyu and ciyu and suyu and whatever metaphors they use to talk about some stupid mountainside house in the middle of nowhere. God, is the author some sort of social reject? Who in their right mind would want to live up in a mountain, view or no view? Kind of reminds me of Wuthering Heights, but even Wuthering Heights was more accessible.

And who the fuck cares how many times you describe the same stupid house with the same stupid tree in a variety of ways, in daylight and in darkness, from near and from far? Where is the literary merit in this over descriptive crap? Where are the characters? Where is the psychology, the moral lesson, the themes and other plot?

Without a plot, this so-called story is crap. Pure purple prose, over embellished with loads of glittery phrases like a (fake) ring of the resident taitai.

The author must have nothing better to do. But then again I cannot assume this because you cannot judge an entire anthology by a single story. Fine, the stupid passage in chinese is far beyond what I can ever hope to achieve with my weak grasp of Chinese, but I must maintain that it is boring. However, I'd rather it be this, than some self-serving, boot-licking essay on why we must respect our elders/be obedient or we'll burn in hell, or something to that effect.

What I hated more than the passage was reading the passage out loud. I don't speak Chinese frequently, in fact, never if I must. My mother tongue has grown strange and mouldy in my tongue. I really hate having to pronounce every syllable clearly (or attempt to, at this point I really pity my tutor because my pronunciation is just a level beyond Awful). But you know what's worse than this? Attempting to concentrate on reading the blardy passage when there is a running commentary in your head in English. That's right, my head is a football match, riddled with disparaging comments like, "Why the fuck am I doing this?" "Damned tongue, damned words!" and "This is a waste of my time, absolutely pointless! Man, I bet if I pulled out Frankenstein and started reading it my tutor will be gobsmacked because I sound like an idiot right now in Chinese," as well as the usual vein of "Screw Chinese. GAH China. Screw Chinese. GODDAMNIT THE TEXTBOOK IS MOCKING ME. IT'S SMIRKING AT ME!"

Yes, I do think like that in between pictographs of indiscernible characters (to me they all look the same).

In the first lesson there was something about neon lights (ni hong deng), and the tutor wanted me to construct a sentence with it. In my mind, English:

The neon lights of the brothel called out invitingly to passing men, willing to satiate their midnight ardour.

Sadly, I didn't know what 'brothel' was in Chinese, fortunately for my tutor (I suppose). At least my inefficiency in the language has stopped me from letting my mouth run loose. She'll be shocked by what a dirty mind I have (but cleaner than most in Arvon and CAP, I'd wager. Never in my entire school life have I written something on necrophilia for school compositions). You should hear the conversation us three mentees had that day, which nevertheless involved nipples ("He should lick the left and not the right first because the left has symbolism") and ("man, he should cut her oelvis, because it'll be awesome to see his tool poking out") and discussions on whether maggots provide the necessary stimuli needed to get a man off.

You don't need to know.

Yes, the quotes are excerpts. We aren't as innocent as you think. I bet QiYu, if she were there, would be shaking her head and going on about how inappropriate and 'not good' it is for our supposedly young, inoccent, naive minds.

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Christmas yesterday was swell though. I received an ipod! Very very happy. And $50 from a miscellanous aunt, which I am so going to use to buy Invitation to a Beheading! But no, I shall have self-restraint and finish Frankenstein before buying more.