I think I've been doing too many letters lately. What is my fixation with them? The last time, it was an angry monologue, the time before that, I think it was poetry?

OH NOES don't you see the poems, ripping forth in all their conglomerate glory of unwanted words and randomly pasted imagery? Sounds like a recipe for BAD POETRY! (Which isn't that hard to do, contrary to popular belief)

YES CHIN YEE Flowers for Almergon (Not referring to book now so not sure of spelling) is awesome! Just like the novella I am now reading, The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka! Next, maybe I shall read Amerika by the same author.

So let me continue my puerile, pointless online way with 'wtf?', because I can do so and I have nothing better to do at 1 am in the morning because I am procrastinating on my poem, which has to be submitted next year for the Eye on the World publication. Hopefully I can rush it out last minute and STILL get published. My fingers are crossed, and so are my toes, and my dendrites and my legs.

Dearest wtf?,

It seems as though you are unable to refrain from putting in a swear word in every single sentence ejected from your brain. Honestly, vilification isn't absolutely necessary. You may notice I am insulting you in perfectly polite terms. (A feat probably impossible for you, but I shall be munificent enough to ignore that, because I am kindly and compassionate and Santa is watching. Oh yeah, santa, while you're at it, I would very much like a laptop, a car and a diamond-encrusted cellphone. It's not much, right?

The syntax...do you even know what syntax is? Oh well, I claim artistic licence as a developing writer under the MOE's CAP programme, so whatever. It's meant to be there, tripping you up like words trying to escape in bubbles from your cerebrum. Like how some ancient culture, the women made sure to make mistakes in their weaving so that their Goddess would not be offended by them trying to attain perfection, like she is. It's human, it reflects humanity, just like how any good piece of Literature should. (e.g. 1984, Wuthering Heights, Metamorphosis, Mockingbird...the list goes on and on)

...And what the heck, may I enquire, would I do with a sparkling boyfriend? Perfectly useless unless there happened to be a blackout, and we are trying to locate each other, upon which, at that very moment, light somehow streaks in and reflects off him, making him look like a disco ball. Or maybe some sort of emergency signal, like flashing police lights? What would I do with a boyfriend that looks like cheap lipsticks that taste of plastics?

However, you seem to be perfectly insistent that your boyfriend sparkles, so I would recommend that, for the sake of your health, you see a
a)therapist
b) the eye specialist
c) Ask a very good friend to slap you out of your delusion/illusion. Yes, the sweet fantasies of naive young love.

Drools? That's a good sign. He's drooling at my impeccable taste in fashion, my style and my beauty. Of course. *sneers arrogantly* Or maybe it's a Pavlov dog reaction... AWESOME! MY VERY OWN TEST SUBJECT! I've always wanted to try out the Chinese Water Torture...

P.S. Your syntax is worse. You need to improve your spelling. I recommend those Primary 5 close passage books where they make errors and ask you to correct them in the boxes.



Okay I apologise because I have to end this letter and resume my much more entertaining MSN conversation with a fellow poet about transvesite Greek Gods, PMSing Poseidons and Gods and their alter egoes. Tata!