Friggin' hell, I am pissed off again.

1) The channel 8 drama that shows at 7 pisses me off, to the point where the theme song is a psychological trigger for murderous intent. I would have preferred more libreal programmes that are informative / of the sociopolitical satire, unfortunately the producers decide to cater to the tastebuds of Singapoire's aging population, what with the lack of babies and abandoned grandparents. Yes, 'home' is indeed a very versatile theme, and I am disappointed that scriptwriters always choose to interpret it in a very narrowminded way (same old same old wife vs. husband and blah blah blah). Well, this is a Singaporean drama, and I am afraid but not at all surprised to find that it sucks.

The more you dwell on how important home is and other asian values are, the more these asian values repel. Try going for the mystique and the glam, a la hollywood.

Anyway, in the drama, it appears as if a woman's lifelong ambition and goal is to gave as many babies as her tired c*nt will allow (sorry for foul language there I think this is worse than 'fuck'), because 'a woman's place is in her house and home, and that is fulfillment'. Or so every episode proclaims.

I am a feminist, and I campaign for FEMALE RIGHTS. What sort of backward thinking is this? Family, family, family. Yes, family is important, but do you seriously want to have no life other than catering and laundering and washing and drying for generation after generation of brats? What are women, relegated to the duty of childrearing, no more than conquests and nurturer of children? Honestly, everytime I pay even the slightest attention to the show (because m parents absolutely REFUSE to watch channel U instead) I get pissed off. The implicit message of the television series seem to be geared towards greek or america in the 1950's thinking.

(And we all know how greek women have no place in society, and that they are unimportant because their bodies don't manufacture sperm which supplies the 'soul' of children while mother provide 'matter' and they are dirty because of menstrual blood and they are not allowed of the house throughout their lives, simply passed on from father to husband)

AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THE FIXATION WITH MARRIAGE AND KIDS?

It is as if there is no other interests women want to discuss. No hobbies, no politics, no jobs. Oh no, they are only interested in cat fighting and one-upping one another, and vapid subjects like shopping and children while the big, macho men discuss business and how to control their wives.

WTFWTFWTFWTFWTF

Whoever wrote this script and forced me to watch episode after agonising episode (partly my parent's faults because I couldn't get them to change channels) I hope that is you are male, you will be kicked by a raging harpy in the balls with a stiletto at least 6 inches high. Multiple times, until you bleed.

If you are a woman, god, you need to get a life or GET CREATIVE. PLEASE, BECAUSE MY EYES ARE BLEEDING WORSE THAN WHEN I READ THE SEC ONE'S WORK. At least they are creative (garystus who survive bomb explosions and summon rain are entertaining and exasperating at the same time.) Even Shakespeare who is a misogynistic pig could entertain and discuss several other issues central to society and hman nature.

2)
I am again forced to look forward to the pleasure of my Chinese tutor's company tomorrow morning.

Yes, I know I am an ungrateful bitch, but you can't blame me when the chinese tutor (from china, can't speak a word of English) treats me like a retard who is convinced her own shit is edible.

At this rate, if all people from China treat me like an idiot (all the people from china that I know, anyway) I shall develop a sort of hatred to China citizens. What was that intolerance called again?

Ah, yes. Xenophobia. Such a prejudice is distressingly unhealthy, especially to be because I generally don't like to dislike a person or culture, and I hate prejudices and bias.

But honestly. There is so much I can handle before I attribute these people (who coincidentally happen to be citizens of china) a negative trait and associate them with something fetid like some vaginal disease. But I don't hate people from China now, because I know it is wrong and there are some genuinely nice and humble people there, like my deskmate. I'm saying that I might develop some sort of xenophobia and start cursing China. I'm afraid that might happen to me.

Anyway, due to my inability to adequately express myself in Chinese, I am often frustrated in my effort to communicate with her. The problem is that I know what she is saying and the answer to the question, it's jsut that I don't know how to phrase it in Chinese. To be honest, what might be genuinely helpful is someone well versed in both Chinese and English so she knows what I am trying to say and corrects my errors, explaining them in English so I understand better. The more she forces me to speak Chinese, and the more I can't express myself in it, the more I abhor the language, and couldn't wait till the cursed language is dead like Latin.

To be honest I think Latin would be easier to master as compared to Chinese.

Fuck those personal response questions! I am sure I would get full marks if I answer everything in English and not Chinese. The way my tuition sessions are set, is like trying to teach a student Latin in Latin when the student does not understand even a single particle of Latin.

So I would be all, 'I know what you are saying, but I don't know how the fuck to say it' and she'll be frustrated with my moroseness and in the end we'll end up pissing each other off. Hardly productive if you ask me.

I hate how she degrades my literary skills. I understand my Literature and can identify various devices in a Chinese passage, but the problem is that my Chinese is too weak to defend my choice. Take the example of the previous lesson. The passage was about some sort of willow tree forest and the author was exhalting its gracefulness and strength, and when I wrote my answer down, it disagreed with the answer key. The question was, What positive traits does the willow tree possess that is admirable? She says my answer is not petinent because I answered that "The willow tree....". She said that this type of question will require us to see things from a person's view, how human qualities are bestowed upon a non- homo sapiens objects, and we are to answer that "The human qualities are...." not talk about the effin willow tree.

My answer was structured so that it encompasses the human qualities the willow tree REPRESENTS. It should be correct right?

I couldn't defend myself, so I had to listen to her tirade, livid with fury because goddamnit, I AM A FUCKEN LITERATURE STUDENT AND I GET A1 FOR EVERY SINGLE FRIGGING LIT EXAMINATION AND THE LITERARY DEVICE USED IS PERSONIFICATION. BUT I CAN'T EXPRESS MYSELF IN CHINESE. CURSE YOU, YOU DAMNABLE LANGUAGE! TO HEURES YOU GO! CURSE YOU!

Unfortunately I wear my emotions on my sleeve and she must have caught my dissatisfied expression because she lectured me on how I kept quiet. I had to calm myself down so as not to abuse her verbally in English, because I like to play fair.

(Victory tastes sweeter when your opponent knows he is beaten and is smart enough to appreciate your superiority.)

I was irate, I simmered through every single Chinese lesson. Writing a letter to her in English just to spite her would be a waste of my efforts because she cannot understand my genius. Honestly, I just want to slap her sometimes with my copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream. Or prefarably, purposely-on-accidentally leave all my English prose and poetry lying about when she visits. Maybe my lit examination papers.

Which brings me to my next point.

3) Outsiders who beat you in every single subject including your niche subject.

Yes, I am still very sore over it, and if I do not get to express this in writing I might just go commit a felony or something. I am pretty sure murder is a felony. But I'm a minor, so technically I should be forgiven and my criminal record erased when I'm an adult right?

The temptation is too great.

Please, people who know what -or to be more specific, who- I am talking about. If you know anyone who fits the description, please make sure all harmful objects are kept out of my hands because I don't know what I may do in a fit of passion.

A fitting ending would involve him/her being cut open along the arteries, and me dipping a stick in the blood to write a nice, long suicide poem. I can already see the scarlet of blood...the metallic smell and the cries of agony...

*jerks out of violent fantasy*

I can emphatise with how the Americans feel when migrants 'steal' their jobs in the workforce. I can TOTALLY emphatise. The frustration of not being good enough, booted out in your own country by these filth who steal your rice bowl and live high lives (hold shit I am thinking like Draco Malfoy...all I need is to refer to them as 'mudbloods' and the elite Singaporeans as 'purebloods' before turning truly prat-tish).

Let us drown our sorrows in NEWater, because this is Singapore and I am underaged.