You know your password is too long when it takes you FOUR tries to type it in correctly and log in.

*uncomprehending audience stare back blankly8

Uh, nevermind.

Okay. On to the list of things I really hate (UPDATED! NEW AND IMPROVED RECIPE!)

1) Twilight. (With full reference to Stephenie Meyer, a SadoMasochist. Get the joke?)
2) Yang Meh. (POP THE CHAMPAGNE PEOPLE SHE RETIRED!!!!111oneone)
2) Miss Lim, the empty cockleshell with no flesh between her temples. The fella who WOULDN'T GRADE MY COMPOSITIONS BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO LONG. ARGH THAT PISSES ME OFF AGAIN.
3) A Math
4) Chinese, Physics
5) When I can't find my goddamn things when I need them, only for them to appear, rather innocently, beneath my nose.
5) Children. Old people. Screaming fangirls. (Yes I know I was once a kid and will grow old in the future, but I am a misanthrope. I hate people, period. So don't piss me off, because I don't know what I will do if I get very angry. Probably murder)
6) Hated words i.e. 'sparkle, chagrin, banquet hall, whichever overused word SM has a propensity to use
7) JOHNATHAN LIM (Did I spell that right? Do I care? Not the least!)

Doubtlessly you will find my regaling the reasons why I dislike him so entertaining.

If you don't, or even if there is a remote possibility you are the abovementioned person, let me tell you a secret, darling.

Oh, no, it's not 'fuck off'. But it's a very astute guess, my dear. Rather, I would like to indulge you with a little known command -- Alt+F4.

Sayonara!

If you are not the abovementioned person, then read on. I know I have stirred your curiosity, a boiling vat now in the arterioles of your soul. YES I KNOW THAT THE SOUL IS NOT A VALID ORGAN, SHUT UP.

Okay, now into my discursive essay why I dislike him.

A rather squat figure strolls into the classroom, with a walk reminiscent of a yakuza. You catch an eyeful of his face and balk. Please, please, don't walk in my class, you pray to all gods and goddesses existing in the world, hoping against hope that someone, anyone would rescue you from looming drudgery and fill your soul with the warmth of English.

Preferably a hot / smexy teacher. Well, it doesn't hurt to look at pretty things when you're bored.

Where ever God is, he appears to be taking a permanent vacation to Hawaii, because The Horror walks into your class with great, lumbering footsteps that will make even Bottom the craftsmen disgusted.

"Guhd Mourning, class."

Oh fuck.



-
This couldn't get worse.

You were wrong.

Immediately he launches into a convoluted praise-session, extolling the virtues of VJC and his running speed.

You eye at his waist size and quietly snigger. Then you proceed to count all the pronunciation errors he makes.

Hey, it's entertainment. Better than the crap he is sprouting.

Unfortunately poor, naive, hardworking Chanel is paying attention because her faggot of a conscience won't let her dose off. Apparently there's only an option for shutting down during A Math, Physics and Chinese.

However, somehow you manage to get snatches of the conversation, like how chicken rice is supposedly better than nasi lemak.

Wut?

-

Chanel tried to have a debate with Lim. Chanel suceeded in wasting about 15 minutes. Chanel is sad because she lost, and she hates losing. But she loses gracefully, unlike people whose arguments spin out of control into other territories. Chanel is objective in her arguments.

Chanel cannot say much about Lim.

Chanel just realised that Lim teachers are 50-50, a wildcard on their teaching abilities. So far, she has had 2 sucky lim teachers (Mr and Miss Lim, my god they would be better halves), one okay lim teacher, and 2 good lim teachers (Mr Chris Lim and my tuition teacher).

Okay Chanel is tired of speaking in third person.

-

1 more thing. WTF (Why The Fuck) should an English teacher be making basic grammatical and spelling errors in his corrections?

And saying, 'Nevermind, if it's me, I can make them.'

Irresponsible dog owner (I say this because there are a lot of dog owners near Chung Cheng who let their dogs shit all over the pavements, thus we have to walk on the main road to avoid stepping on them). They will have bad karma, and thus be sentenced to an afterlife soaking in a dog-crap sauna, eating dog crap, sleeping in dog crap and doing whatever activities with dog crap! That is holy justice!

After seeing so much of him, I think I do not want to mention him anymore.

Sometimes I look at all the trashy shoujo manga I read (mainly to laugh at stupid girls and their infatuation...tsk tsk), as well as the Seventeen magazines I buy, and wonder why I even bother to read such literary trash. Girls, come on, there's so much more to life than clothes, jewelry, cosmetics and guys! (Like money! $$$$$$ And chocolate, and poetry and prose and villianelles and sonnets and sestinas and freewriting and...)

Then I realise,

Sometimes you need to read brainless stuff so it doesn't tax your mind too much.

It's always fun to laugh at the stupidity of lesser beings, or at stupid things in a magazine. It helps that it's grammatically correct...it's not that funny when you read awful fangirl poetry -shivers-

Oh yeah, random fact, but did you know you could get addicted to lip balm? Basically lip balm contains come stuff that will actually make your lips drier, thus you use more and establish a sort of psysiological dependency on it. You can't live without it, it's a vicious cycle.

Sibeh cool. Thank goodness I am lazy and kept on forgetting to apply lip balm my mum gave me when I was younger. You see? Forgetfulness is a good thing!