Dear Health minister:

Screw you.

Didn't your mother tell you it isn't nice to toy with women's hearts?

Today you made me so happy, I thought that I was truly blessed to have a health minister as capable as yourself. Later, you cruelly broke my heart when you went behind my back and announced you weren't going through with your initial plan.

Well, needless to say, I am pissed. AND HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED!

Let me tell you something, monkeyface. You do NOT raise people's hopes up by saying that you will extend their holidays, and then crush it by being a pansy and saying you won't go through it.

While I understand the significant impact of it on my schoolwork, allow me to be a typical obdurate teenager and extend my goddamn holidays so you and your stinky government can collect more taxes from us as we spend.

GST, remember?

I have a plan for revenge.

I will sleep with my hair wet tonight and get a flu, and the next day I will dress up in a biohazard suit, venture close to the minister's office, and give you a !SNEEZEsurprise. The security will not pull me away from you, rather, they will be cowering in the corner cos I threatened to sneeze on them if they do.

You will be completely defenceless, unless you have a team of sanitizers and tamiflu administrators all decked out in white, but I doubt you would want to blow your salary on that type of security.

I will then smile savagely and wipe my snot on your perfectly immaculate business suit, and then I will proceed to christen every surface of your office with my germs until you promise to extend the holidays. You will realise the awesome power of me - er, flu and panic! Mwahahahahah!

So anyway, if I don't get you, every single student in Singapore will be making effigies of you and curse you. One of their voodoo dolls will be effective. So you watch out! Owe holidays pay holidays!

Tata, darling, You'd better be vaccinated with tamiflu.

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In case you don't get it, the above is a joke. I don't think I would be able to get into the minister's office for peanuts, but the possibilities...