I am leaving for my CAP camp tomorrow.

I'll bring my phone along, so if you want to contact me, please SMS or call me okay? (PLEASE PLEASE DO).

I dunno. I feel appehensive yet excited, and I also have that typical goddamn-my-work-sucks-lyk-shit type of feeling when re-reading my work. Argghh.

As well as the homesick feeling and the oh man I am gonna miss my flute feeling, and a lot of other things, like my computer.

I mean this is a nice camp and we'll be living in a hostel which looks kinda nice but there are 2 CCHMS students in this CAP thing, including me.

AND NONE OF MY FRIENDS ARE INTERESTED IN WRITING (okay, those who are didn't get in) and I am scared about feeling lonely and rejected during the group activities.

I mean, it's so unfair. Even though I and Sheena made fast friends, at least she has her own group of friends to hang out with, while poor poor me has no one ): And there is a hell lot of RGS girls in the program, and they are sec 2, but even though I am older than them I still feel intimidated by their large numbers.

It's kinda pathetic to be sitting in a convention with a large number of people who are definitely smarter than you, but oddly enough I happen to make friends who are less intellectually...stimulated. Heck, I realise none of my friends are better than me in terms of level position and PSLE aggregate. NO, I AM NOT BOASTING. THIS IS A MERE OBSERVATION.

Holy crap! Do I have an inferiority complex or something? I'd really hate to be a bitch who just hangs out with less...gifted people to appear smart. I hope I'm not like that, but if I find out I am this sort of person I shall go drown myself in...er....A Math homework. Yes, A Math and Physics.

(Urgh.)

OH SHIT I FORGOT TO PACK THE ALARM CLOCK!

--

Okay. Settled.

Anyway, back to whining.

I am really scared of not making friends and being all awkward and stuff despite having loads of thing in common i.e. we're all aspiring writers! But it's just weird.

Hey...maybe I can make use of this opportunity to talk about stuff I can't talk to my friends in school, because they'll just give me that blank look or run away from me. Hmm...

But I'm still scared. And reluctant.