They said that curiosity killed the cat.
I agree. Rather, instead of a cat, it killed my hair.
Nope, I didn't hover my hair on top of a bunsen burner just to know how burnt hair looks like, nor did I attempt to see whether permanent markers could colour hair (I'm not that dumb). However, after so many days of reading how applying raw eggs to hair will give you nice, smooth hair, I decided to do it.
Hey, I thought.
It's cheap and good, won't hurt to try.How wrong I was. The experience was downright unpleasant.
Firstly, raw eggs are downright watery and slimy and they just kept running down my damp hair. I couldn't quite figure out how to do it, so I simply parted it into sections and used a table spoon to pour the mixture.
And yes, it was
disgusting. The
smell!Since you were supposed to leave in on for 20 minutes, I sat around reading manga. Boy, the stench was redolent and pungent! However, I noted that eggs do make wonderful hair gels -- that is, if you don't mind the eggy smell. Slather egg on your hair and shape to your desire (let's just say you want a durian-style head), wait for a few minutes, and voila!~ Lovely, stiff spikes. They are really hard as well, and actually make a crisp sound (think the sound of bread crusts/toast crackling) when you bend them!
It was unbearable. I chickened out and decided to wash it after 15 minutes.
I don't know what it was supposed to do, but my hair was all tangly and horrible, like I didn't comb my hair for years. I used cold water to wash it off, and had a little trouble getting my hands through the Suffering-inducing Stiff Spikes. It was a very painful process, and by the time I did manage to comb through my hair using my fingers, I think I had lost quite a lot of hairs. Ouch. To add insult to the injury, my hair was worse off.
Disgruntled, I applied the last dredges of shampoo in my tired bottle and lathered like crazy. Too bad I was nearly out, if not I would've gone for a second, third wash like I did on the first day of camp at Kota Tinggi. I had to do an emergency damage control and use my trusty L'oreal Professionnel conditioner in order to salvage the situation. Thank god the conditioner did its job and now I have my nice, silky before-curiosity-struck hair.
I
knew that there was a reason why man invented conditioner. It's so we won't smell like markets and vagrants, plus the fact that those chemicals in conditioners actually
do help to detangle and make our hair nice and smooth and shiny. Who cares if there's silicones in them which will lead to build-up? Fuck that, I'd rather have build-up of silicones than build-up of stubborn eggs which are incredibly hard to wash out. Not to mention that eggs are potentially contributors to hair loss (Due to the amount of effort exerted when you tug at the tangles and try to get your fingers through your hair) and nausea (because of the smell).
I suppose that some things aren't meant to be. Like how eggs are supposed to be cooked in cakes and muffins and delicious dishes, not on hair. Besides, they smell better in an omelet.
I hope that there won't be eggs for dinner tonight. Because I don't think I can stomach it.
P.S. I don't think I managed to get all the egg out even after all that washing. When I blow dried my hair, I can still smell egg on it. Yuck. And I thought the fiasco with the Asience hair mask was bad (made hair frizzy and curling up and utterly dry and horrible).
So that's my experience with natural conditoner. I don't think I will be using natural conditioners anymore -- they make things worse. I'd rather apply chemicals on my hair. After all, these chemicals are specially formulated by well-qualified scientists for us, and tested too! I'd rather trust them to do the job than some old wives' tale...