NOTE: SENSITIVE TOPIC

Religion is no laughing matter. Seriously.

A Christian friend of mine told me that she believes in God, and Heaven and Hell as well. People who believe in God would go to heaven, she says.

Amused, I asked her if a serial murderer who prays at churches but kills anyway (or a priest who rapes or molests) would go to Heaven if they believed in God.

She said yes.

I snapped my eyes open and asked her earnestly, searching her eyes, if a good person, a person who does philanthrophy and gives the last of her money to aid the starving, a good person who eventually is on the losing end due to her compassion will go to Hell as that person does not believe in God.

She nodded in affirmation. Yes, she will go to hell.

I was stunned. Speechless.

Which is why I now explain the fickle side of religion.

I detest the moment of weaknesses where we all cave in. I wish for miracles but I do not believe in miracle workers. I believe in the apocalypse.

In the end, when we kneel down to pray or chant, who are we praying to? Are we helping or destroying the world?

Something beautiful, something which was supposed to bring the world together can be used as a weapon, a line drawn between others. A reason for war. A reason to kill 'righteously'. A reason to do ill with 'Holy' books as protection. A reason to sue. A reason to hurt.

Is it too much to hope, even on account of naivete, that the world will one day be peaceful and in harmony? Too much, perhaps. It will only come when the apocalypse is here, where hearts are joined in fear, but then again the apocalypse could bring out the demons in us as we scramble for religious protection, ensuring a pathway to heaven.

What's wrong to be without a religion? Why do wee want to be in a religion? Are we standing up for what we sincerely believe in, considered all angles, or are we just blind sheep following the masses? Are we cowards afraid of Hell, or are we zealots cursing non-christians at their funerals? Are we the preachers, hoping to draw unwilling people in with guilt, or are we the caring ones? Are we the curious, just there to see, or are we the snowman, only seeing a single season to live?

What is care? Is care drawing and influencing your friends? Is care imposing your beliefs on another?

Why do we turn to religion?

Mountains of questions, no straight ansewrs, only beliefs sketched. My doubt grows everyday.

I don't believe in wishy-washy nonsense that something can live in the heart, because humans are capable of anything, especially the ability to forget.

Prove it to me -- no miracles or one-sided stories, no propaganda or sad inspiration, no guilt trips of manipulation, just shows me by giving us humans a year of peace, no war, no economic instability, no ozone depletion, no selfishness.