If there is one single sin from the seven deadly sin I must be guilty of, it is avarice.

Avarice: The need for material things to fill up the empty void in our lives.

It is easier to act ignorant than to be truly ignorant, that is what I have discovered. by hiding behind the carefully carved facade, I can just be myself privately.

"Being yourself"? What a fallacious promise. "Myself" is a carefully constructed mask over time to disguise the battle scars."Myself" is something that pops up automatically, but dissappears when I'm alone. "Myself" is so familiar, and yet a stranger.

I do not even know who I am, or what I am here for, so please don't judge me.

What bitter irony. After all, aren't people supposed to know themselves better? Why am I relying on the judgement of others? Why am I seeing my world through another's eyes?

"Myself" is a lie told far too many times, and too many people have fallen for it. Years have hardened someone to an experienced liar, to carry a suit of armour. The point why I am writing this is dodging my mind, perhaps this is a prelude to insanity.

I ccan discard the mask and stand alone, or I can keep it on. Keeping it on seems a better option-- it transcends familiarity.

Perhaps one day I would find it. Perhaps one day I can finally take off the mask. The mask has been stretched on too tight. If not now, when? The world is growing deceitful by day.

I'll just accept the curse of solitute and walk down alone. And I don't need anyone, I don't need money, I don't need wealth, I don't need comfort. Just pray that I come through it whole as a new person.

How we act, how we talk may just be another part of the illusion. People can keep secrets, and gurad them till death finally joins them in graves.

With every day I know I grow just a single step closer to it.

Just leave me alone.

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Author's notes:Thank god no one reads this. The mask is fitted, now I wonder if this would go under 'human nature'...