I swear I'm on the edge of becoming unhealthily obese.

Normally I couldn't be bothered about this, but the fact that I'm short, AND my weight seems to increase continuously, tipping the 100% scales by two percent, I'm convinced I need to loose weight, because if I get anymore fatter I'll have to join the tuft club, which equals runningaround like a crazed maniac killer running from the police during recess, and I HATE running, and I have a reputation to protect.

I've gained 10kg in a year. T.T

At the rate of eating I seem to go through, frankly, I'm not surprised.

I seem to have cake(or equallyunhealthy foods) paronia late at night. Today I had the urge to eat cake, and stuffed myself contentedly with a HUGE slice measuring 5cm(in width), 6cm (in height) and around 8 cm in length.

And it's not the typical triangle slice. Nope--this was a CHUNK, a RECTANGULAR chunk. Okay, it wasn't rectangular, it was like a trapezium, 'cos I couldn't cut straight.

And I poured copious amounts of Hershley's Chocolate syrup on it, and chopped up an Oreo bar to go with it.

Thankfully, I only ate half of the Oreo bar.

Did I mention I ate a four-course dinner 5 hours beforehand, and my parents filled my plate with toufu and eggs and whatever food they can get their hands on?

God, I feel like a, uh, Chipmunk! Yeah, those cute critters at the zoo where they look adorably ridiculous when they stuff their mouths! (Or is that Hamtaro?)

Which brings me back to the point. I'M FAAAT.

Great. I'm short, and now I'm gonna be fat, thus giving more excuses to excercise. (Yeah, I hate excercising because I hate sweating which makes me smell, and my sense of smell is very keen. I also hate sports which make me tired. I would rather swim, but there's stupid chlorine in it, which is hard to wash off, and I have long hair too, which means extra time in the bathroom, which means longer water bills, which means I have a lesser chance of owning a laptop for Christmas.

Or I can walk. But I hate malls. I hate shopping, unless it's really necessary(necessary in the sense that I look like a walking fashion disaster, i.e. dressed in gaudy colours.

Sigh. Isn't there a painless way to lose weight?