202 ways to kill barney

To all barney haters galore! C'mon Let;s kill as one! Mwahahahaha... Beware barney!

If you hate barney, this is it for you! Here's 202 creative ways to kill barney!(Or anyone else you hate....especially the idiot producer of the #$@#$@$# spongebob squarepants ad!Watch out!

1. Make him watch his own show.
2. Make him gargle broken glass.
3. Get children-sized mannequins and fill them with razor blades. (kinda like the razored apple Halloween trick!)
4. Get him to read "The Canonical List of Blonde Jokes" to a roomfull of feminists. 5. Send him to Sea World to see Shamu -enough said 6. Drop him from a bridge onto the in-bound lane of the BostonExpressway. 7. Slap some antlers on his head and send him into the woods duringNovember. 8. Move every third molecule 3 feet to the left until he closely resembles Picasso's "Guernica". 9. Nail his feet to his shoulders and use him as the Jamaican bobsled in the 1996 Winter Olympics. 10. Hollow him out and fill him with Bac-o-bits, use as Swiss Colony store display model. 11. Cryogenically freeze him, then cut out shamrock shaped pieces ofhis body, dye green, and use as lapel pins for St. Patrick's Day. 12. Shoot him. 13. "Barney, I would like you to meet Dr. Kevorkian...." 14. Let him be a guest on Geraldo...let the one armed, Vietnamese, lesbian, bigamist rip his arms off. 15. Donate his body to science...early. 16. Well, just call my cousins Guido and Vinnie and tell them that you kinda placed $200 in a bag under the rock in the park....mention the fact that you would _love_ to have Barney's knee-caps as conversation pieces. 17. Ask the owl in the tree, "How many layers of skin does it take to get to the middle of a Barney?" Peel off layers of skin one at a time. 18. Get him to show kids how to make and set off pipe bombs. 19. Have him magically turn the classroom into a vacuum ... watch his body explode. 20. Strip off his flesh, bury the bones in your back yard, and thendig them up, a piece at a time, selling them to your nearest natural history museum. A complete dinosaur skeleton would be worth a fortune! Death to Barney for fun AND profit! 21. Put him in a Straight-Jacket (really tough & leathery). 22. Put him in one of those inflated bounce amusement park things for a year or so... 23. Prepare him as food in any number of ways (deep fried and breadedis my personal favourite) then grind up his bones for fertilizer.Sell food to an enemy. Watch enemy become Barney. Then repeat the process as many times as you like... 24. Sew his lips to his rectum. 25. Take him into space and put him into a decaying orbit. 26. Cut him up with a dull chain-saw. 27. Toss him into a blast furnace. 28. Make him a referee in an NHL game. 29. Tell the kids of the world that Barney wants you to eat yourvegetables. 30. Write a "101 Uses for a Dead Purple Dinosaur" book. 31. Make him listen to Jesse Jackson. 32. Put him in a guillotine; put the rope holding up the blade in his mouth and then beat his ass with a jagged piece of metal until he screams. 33. Put him on the Starship Enterprise. Make him go up to Worf and ask him if it's true that all Klingons are really wimps. 34. Dip him in tar (anything sticky will do), cover him with hundred-dollar bills and throw him into a pit full of lawyers... 35. Cut open his gut until the entrails lie splayed out on thefloor. Don't give him a needle and thread. 36. Tie him down in the middle of the Sahara Desert and let the vultures have him. I am not sure that is a good idea because wedon't need to be that cruel to the vultures. 37. Duct tape him to a street light in South Central L.A. If we arelucky, he will be shot in a drive by! 38. There is the old "Cement Overshoes", but that could be considered water pollution. 39. Make him write, "I will not be a demon sent from the lowestdepths of hell" 100 times with a piece of chalk only 1/4 inch long. 40. Lob a can of Nitro-nine under his purple butt. 41. Bury all but his head in an anthill. Cover with honey. See howeffective that torture method *really* is. 42. Shark bait. (Need to cut him up a little first...) 43. Let him take the place of a car crash dummy. 44. Have him clean up toxic waste/nuclear radiation sites, withoutenvironmental gear. 45. Let him have a loooong visit in the Marinaras Trench. 46. Have him stand under the space shuttle during the next launch. 47. Send him to inspect an underground nuclear test site, minutesbefore the next test. 48. Send him to Somalia as famine relief. 49. Target practice. 50. Send him on a candlelight tour of the Wilson Dynamite factory. 51. Pack his parachute all wrong and push him out of an airplane. Then throw the chute after him. 52. Use him for testing Ginsu knives with Mrs. Bobbitt helping out.53. Get him to neuter a Pit-Bull Terrier. 54. Cruise missile target. 55. Plutonium enema. 56. "Charlie Manson? This is your new cell-mate." 57. Send him to Miami in a rented car. 58. Lock him in a room with 10 rabid raccoons. 59. Send him on a walking tour of the La Brea Tar Pits. 60. Make him become a politician in Mexico. 61. Take him bungee jumping. Forget to secure bungee cord. 62. Poke him in the belly. With an ice pick. See if he laughs like the Pillsbury Doughboy. 63. Cast him in place of Mr. Bill on "The Mr. Bill Show" 64. Cut off his tail, and watch him fall on his face for lack ofbalance. 65. Send him to Loch Ness. Maybe Nessie will try to mate with him.66. Cut off his arms and say "Where's that 'great big hug' *now*!?!"67. Shave his fur. ALL of it. 68. The Juice Tiger. It separates the Barney pulp from the Barneyjuices. 69. Infiltrate the PBS stations and switch the "Barney & Friends" tapes with "Beavis 'n' Butthead" and watch the kids burn him todeath. 70. Use him to insulate the steam pipes at your local nuclear generating station. 71. Move the set of the show to an actual inner-city classroom. 72. Let him visit the local jail, shove him in a cell and let the sex-starved convicts after him. 73. Use him as evidence to prove that the acceleration of gravity is9.8 m/sec on Earth. Oh! and make sure that it is off of the Searstower too. 74. Let him take a New York Subway at night. 75. Use his head to plug up leaky dikes in Holland. (that is the water barriers, not the other kind). 76. Use him as a bungee cord. 77. Make him hug Madonna. (When she's wearing her pointy bra) 78. Let him help put out forest fires. 79. Teflon bullets to the skull, chest, and genitalia of the beast.80. Throw him into a combine. 81. Bazooka blast to the cranium. 82. Nuclear Bombs. Nuff said. 83. Tie him up like a pinata and have small Mexican children beat itto death. 84. Drown him in gasoline and then set it ablaze. 85. Throw him in a vat of methylene chloride. 86. Use him for an 18 wheeler's traction. 87. Have him inspect the space shuttle's engines at T+60. 88. Put him in a cage that houses 1000 Tokay Geckoes (irony is thatthey're mostly purple too). 89. Have him change targets at a rifle range... without ceasing fire.90. Put him to work at the Mt. St. Helens Close Study Station AFTERthe next evacuation. 91. Use him as a test subject at the Army's Biological - Chemical - Nuclear Warfare unit. 92. Place him underneath equal quantities of iron oxide and powderedaluminum. (use lots of both... <>